The Book of Tribes

1. It was year 1 when the first beings emerged from The Maze. They were dumb and foolish, but managed to hunt wild spook trees with their bare hands. They later created tribes with leaders; and made tools from Tropics slate and koa wood.

2. They were called Olmecs.

3. The most famous of these Olmecs was a tribe leader of the name Urrakkalastri. Urrakkalastri saw beauty in Lumberland; and he wanted to share it with the many tribes that dwell in the tropics - so they looked to the skies for a deity; but they heard none. They needed a god or their species would fall.

4. Urrakkalastri brought his tribe down to the maze from which they originated. They hunted for many months; some Olmecs starved, some died of thirst. But Urrakkalastri knew that because they came from the depths, the gods must be down there too. So they played a song in the maze.

5. They ground shook and the walls moved; they heard cheers and screams as spirits of the maze overtook them; and came walking around the corner was a giant beast; it had many limbs and heads; and it stared them down. Following him, was a slender, tall man with a golden head a bright red skin.

6. "You have found your god" said the former. "I am Rakkalord."

7. "Now lead us out of the maze," he said. "And I will reward you with gifts of Sinister." The Olmecs led Rakkalord and The God out of the maze for several days; when they emerged, The God had swiftly left; he flew into the sky riding his octagonal surfboard, eager to fulfill his plans. Rakkalord, however, instead of taking the chance to escape, had pity on the Olmecs.

8. Rakkalord reached up to the top of the tropics and derooted a glowing orange and black tree. He masterfully duplicated this amongst his many fingers and gave one tree to each Olmec. They were all happy, until they were caught.

9. Lightning struck, iridium jolting. The sinister trees lit aflame, burning to crisps. Rakkalord snatched as many as he could from the Olmecs and buried them so they would be deflamed. When he uncovered the tree from the dirt, he was at a loss. The tree no longer glowed. The bark had no color. No glow. He turned to the inner portion.

10. He shrieked for three straight minutes. After he darted into the caverns, the Olmecs stepped up. The wood was no longer a bright orange, but a dark, dark, brown. They frantically followed Rakkalord in. They heard laughing, then more and more laughter. All of rakkalord's heads were in unified satisfaction.

11. He had turned the previous maze tree into a neon blue masterpiece.

12. The cavern glowed a bright blue, and all the olmecs chopped away at the rich wood. They almost got away with it until Josh himself tried to put the caverns on lockdown.

13. One, then two, then three doors collapsed down, blocking the olmecs. Only but a few escaped the maze. They swam and swam until they couldn't swim any more. The hesitant olmecs who waited at shore for a better, safer option were disconnected from their bodies. Josh had demolished their souls, for they had betrayed him. Some olmecs survived, however.

14. Hiding behind rocks, lord Josh lost interest as his joy faded. He had played with his new olmec action figures for hours, but to the hidden ones' delight, he had not spotted them. They sneaked out from the rocks and realization hit them.

15. They needed to explore the rest of Lumberland. They called for Rakkalord to emerge from the Maze; but he did not come out. They chanted COMMUNISM! COMMUNISM! COMMUNISM! out into the warm air. They did not fear Josh, but they feared that Rakkalord would not come if they were not persistent. They continued to chant until they heard thunderous footsteps as Rakkalord emerged from the maze; he was as handsome as he was many years ago, when Josh had created him. He was ready to harvest Lumberland again. The olmecs explained their predicament, and Rakkalord was upset. Why would one forbid another from harvesting such beautiful luminescent wood? Was Josh jealous or something? He crafted a boat out of iridium. As he pulled the iridium out from below, it crystallized. He shifted the molecules of it into a thin plate. Then another, and another. The Ferry was completed.

16. He then looked around, at every Olmec, and saw one that he deemed fit. It was one who had stolen a portion of wood from another olmec. One who is not selfless, but selfish. This was perfect. He granted him permission to drive this boat; but he disguised him as a Capitalist, so that he could continue to scam other foolish Capitalists. He liked this idea, Boats.

17. He marveled over the concept. The olmec ferryman, Hoover, delivered the olmecs and their wood to the grassy nirvana at the heart of the land. The Tropics had become a source of sin.

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